Participating in CCAs
During my high school, I was really an enthusiastic girl to
participate in many kinds of CCAs. However, after I came to NUS, the enthusiasm
went down, even was lost. Many times I would rather stay in my room than go out
to join others. I understand this is not positive as working with others cannot
be avoided. Hence, I am considering some changes in order to let me be more out-going
and enthusiastic towards CCAs.
In last semester, I just joined two CCAs and often complained
about the time spent on these CCAs. Maybe it was because in a totally new
environment I was afraid to communicate with others, or I considered more about
my academic achievement rather than social activities, I lost most of the
enthusiasm I had before for CCAs, for teamwork and for social activities. Most
of the times when I need to spend extra time for my CCAs, I would
have much dissatisfaction. I would say that “It
is better to use this time to study, why should I waste time in such boring
activities?”
To be honest, I already realized this problem that I am not
interested enough in CCAs and not willing to spend time working together
preparing for my CCAs. I have thought some possible ways to help myself to improve and to be more positive
towards these CCAs. First, I need to find more interesting points in my CCA and
appreciate those activities more. After I have more interest and appreciation, I
will be more willing to participate. Second, I need to make some effort on time
management. One reason that I have such thought like “using the time spent on
CCAs to study is better” is because I felt there was no enough time to study.
However, I can be more efficient when study and do other things so that I can
have more free time to do CCAs.
This is the primary plan for me to improve my attitude
towards CCA and I hope I can do better in the future.
Hi Ruoxuan,
ReplyDeleteYour reflection is talking about your participation in CCA in Sem 1. You feel that you spent too little time on activities previously and plan to enjoy more of it.
The content of this reflection is very clear. In the first two paragraphs, it exposes the situation in the last semester. And the third paragraph is about the changes you want to make.
However, I think the reflection should reflect more about the changes you want to have rather than talk so much about the past.
Hi Lei Ruo Xuan, I have read your writing about your experience in CCAs. However, there are some grammar mistakes I would like to share with you:
ReplyDelete1. original sentence: “Maybe it was because in a totally new environment I was afraid to communicate with others, or I considered more about my academic achievement rather than social activities, I lost most of the enthusiasm I had before for CCAs, for teamwork and for social activities.”
what’s wrong: “it was because in a totally new environment I was afraid to communicate with others” is a independent clause and should not be connect with another independent clause with just a comma and if you want to write this sentence as the emphatic pattern, “that” should not be forgot.
to correct: “Maybe because in a totally new environment I was afraid to communicate with others, or I considered more about my academic achievement rather than social activities, I lost most of the enthusiasm I had before for CCAs, for teamwork and for social activities.” Or ““Maybe it was that because in a totally new environment I was afraid to communicate with others, or I considered more about my academic achievement rather than social activities. I lost most of the enthusiasm I had before for CCAs, for teamwork and for social activities.”
2. original sentence: “To be honest, I already realized this problem that I am not interested enough in CCAs and not willing to spend time working together preparing for my CCAs.”
what’s wrong: I am not so sure about this sentence but I think you have used the wrong tense.
to correct: “To be honest, I have already realized this problem that I am not interested enough in CCAs and not willing to spend time working together preparing for my CCAs.”
3. original sentence: “I felt there was no enough time to study.”
what’s wrong: I am not so sure about this sentence too. Personally, I don’t think “was no enough” is right.
to correct: “I felt there was not enough time to study.”
In conclusion, I agree with what Liang Li has said that you need to focus more on your current situation and future plan. But this is still a good trial as your organization is clear and your content is rich. I hope this comment is helpful to you.
Mao Ke’s comments for Ruoxuan
Delete1. original sentence: “Maybe it was because in a totally new environment I was afraid to communicate with others, or I considered more about my academic achievement rather than social activities, I lost most of the enthusiasm I had before for CCAs, for teamwork and for social activities.”
what’s wrong: “it was because in a totally new environment I was afraid to communicate with others” is a independent clause and should not be connect with another independent clause with just a comma and if you want to write this sentence as the emphatic pattern, “that” should not be forgot.
to correct: “Maybe because in a totally new environment I was afraid to communicate with others, or I considered more about my academic achievement rather than social activities, I lost most of the enthusiasm I had before for CCAs, for teamwork and for social activities.” Or ““Maybe it was that because in a totally new environment I was afraid to communicate with others, or I considered more about my academic achievement rather than social activities. I lost most of the enthusiasm I had before for CCAs, for teamwork and for social activities.”
Misty’s feedback: Well done, Mao Ke! You were right. Read my comment for Ruoxuan as there are other problems with this sentence too. Your suggested correction is good.
2. original sentence: “To be honest, I already realized this problem that I am not interested enough in CCAs and not willing to spend time working together preparing for my CCAs.”
what’s wrong: I am not so sure about this sentence but I think you have used the wrong tense.
to correct: “To be honest, I have already realized this problem that I am not interested enough in CCAs and not willing to spend time working together preparing for my CCAs.”
Misty: Inconsistencies in the use of tenses: Past and present.
3. original sentence: “I felt there was no enough time to study.”
what’s wrong: I am not so sure about this sentence too. Personally, I don’t think “was no enough” is right.
to correct: “I felt there was not enough time to study.”
Misty: Very good suggestion!
Mao ke, brilliant job
Content and organisation: Thank you for sharing your concerns about your lack of enthusiasm for your CCAs and other social activities. It is very important to strike a balance between academic studies and social life
ReplyDeleteYou were also able to link your the past and present experiences to the future—great job.
Language—Pay attention to:
1. Incorrect use of the preposition ‘to’ to connect ideas together in this sentence. Note the latter part of your sentence describes the first part. Do you know what you should use?
I was really an enthusiastic girl ‘to’ participate in many kinds of CCAs.
2. Two verbs in one main clause:
However, after I came to NUS, the enthusiasm went down, even was lost.
3. Missing article (a/the):
In last semester,
4. Connection of ideas in this sentence: This is an example of a sentence with run-on and comma splice problem.
Maybe it was because in a totally new environment I was afraid to communicate with others, or I considered more about my academic achievement rather than social activities, I lost most of the enthusiasm I had before for CCAs, for teamwork and for social activities.
5. Use of tenses: should this be in past or present tense?
Most of the times when I need to spend extra time for my CCAs, I would have much dissatisfaction.
6. Incorrect verb: be + describing word. Attitude is something you possess:
…and to be more positive towards…